Justice Tempered
by Forestnymphe
Summary: A character study of my mage Saelihnne, her background and childhood and why she is who she is. Eventually a romance with Anders. Dark themes, I mean dark. Rated M. Reviews are always appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Justice Tempered

Prologue - Childhood

"_Daddy, Daddy, please Daddy you have to help! It hurts!" _

_A small child no more than six, comes barreling into the simple cob cottage she calls home, for now. Her blond braids are frayed and her face is red with her hysterical sobbing. In her hands is cradled a small bird. Her teary green eyes search the face of her father, convinced that he can save the helpless and wounded creature she holds. He is her hero and can fix anything._

"_Shh, calm now Sunshine. What hurts luv?"_

_The girl's father looks concerned, glancing over his distraught daughter and seeing nothing amiss of her physical form. He notes she carries yet another misshapen creature, another baby bird has found it's way to his daughter. It was the third this month._

"_The bird Daddy, I can feel it hurts! It hurts me too. Please Daddy..."_

_A soft blue light rose around his daughters hands as she sobbed brokenly, her only desire in that moment was to make the hurt go away from the bird. Her tiny hands shook as magic coursed through her body, causing her to shiver violently. A soft chirp rose from trembling fingers as the little girl collapsed to the floor smack on her bottom. Hot, salty tears streamed down her face as she glanced to the now whole bird, and then up to her father, fear in her eyes._

"_Sweet Andraste!"_

_Her father whispered beneath his breath and hurried to see to his daughter. She had the gift as he did. The gift of magic. It was too soon, surely, but there it was, the telltale burning, sweet scent of magic in the air. Malcom Hawke drew his daughter Saelihnne into a tender embrace, soothing her trembling as he gently unfolded her fingers to glance at the bird. It held quite still in his daughter's tiny palm, completely healed, offering a soft trilling chirp. It should have been terrified._

"_Daddy, what happened? I felt something inside my tummy like the sun was in there and then the hurting went away."_

_Malcom Hawke sighed gently, watching his beloved little girl pet the bird before it flew off through an open window in the cottage. He had never expected to have to explain magic to a six year old, nonetheless, his six year old daughter. When her sniffling and hiccuping ceased, and he could feel her diminutive body calm he explained._

"_What happened poppet, is that you are blessed with a very special gift. Magic. Just like me. It is nothing to be afraid of sweetheart ,but it is something so special we must keep it safe and not tell anyone outside family. Do you understand?"_

_Saelihnne nodded, her pale brows furrowing as she looked at her father, questions worrying her dark green eyes._

"_Not even Sister Mary Elowina? She says I can tell her anything and does not get mad when I find the hurt animals."_

"_Not even her, my dove. You know how I sometimes help the people who come here hurt? I will teach this to you as well, and much more in time. For now you have to trust me, okay? You did a wondrous thing, the Maker has blessed you. Now tell me where you hurt."_

_Saelihnne Hawke searched her naïve six year old mind for the right words but nothing could really describe what she felt. She had seen the wounded bird by the apple tree and pain filled her heart. She knew it was the bird's pain but could not understand how it got inside her._

"_Oh I don't hurt anymore Daddy. When the sun went through my hands it went away. I wished really hard Daddy, that the bird would stop hurting and be okay. And it was. And then my heart stopped hurting too."_

_Malcom fought to conceal the look of shock that crossed his face. Not only was his beautiful little girl a mage, but a natural empath and healer. Empaths were rare in his experience. He would have to teach her control. She would take the pain of others upon herself, and if he did not teach her now she would be overwhelmed. Six years old, far too young to have this responsibility._

"_Sunshine? Did you gather the herbs I asked for? Be a good girl and go hang them in the back like I showed you and then wash up for supper."_

"_Yes Daddy. I'm so glad that the bird did not die. I would cry and cry forever if it did."_

_Saelihnne wrapped her chubby arms about her father's neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. In a moment she was off his lap and gathering her sack of elfroot and deathweed, skipping happily to his workshop. Malcom looked after his daughter, pride and fear welling within his soul. She was positively glowing with happiness where just minutes before she was sobbing in despair. Malcom would have to teach her and well._

* * *

"_Malcom, what do you mean she healed a bird? Are you certain?"_

_Leandra spoke in worried hushed tones to her husband. It was not an easy life to raise three small children with an apostate mage. They might have to move again if too much attention was cast upon her family. Malcom took his wife's hands into his own._

"_Yes Leandra, she has the gift and more. I had not thought to see it manifest so soon. She is an empath and from what I can tell a natural at healing. She knows not to tell anyone, or heal anymore strays outside the house. You have to trust me love. I will teach her."_

"_What of the templars? The Revered Mother? That girl practically lives at the Chantry. I thought her to take vows someday. We shall have to move again, won't we?"_

_Leandra squeezed her husband's fingers, her face etched with deep worry. She understood very little about magic save that her husband had the gift as he called it, and only used his talents to help others. What Leandra understood well was the fact that magic was considered evil by most folks, yet here on the outskirts of the village it was not unusual for her husband to ease the pain of a difficult birth and tend to the sick and wounded. Malcom was discreet and those he had helped over the years were grateful. They kept his secret. Leandra held her husband's gaze, truly hoping he was right. Her oldest daughter was as innocent and free spirited as a gentle spring breeze. She had been raised to be kind, but she knew too her child was far too trusting._

"_Ah, love I would not worry too much about the Chantry. Our little dove has got every templar and holy sister around her pinky finger. I think she tends to favor the rose garden over the sermons though._

_Lothering is our home Leandra and I will do all in my power to protect us. See this as a blessing, love. Someday our daughter may accomplish great things with her gifts. I really should have seen the signs sooner."_

_Malcom caressed his wife's cheek with a brush of his knuckles and smiled wistfully._

"_What do you mean, Malcom? How could you possibly see signs in such a little girl? She is only six and never displayed any signs of magic until today."_

"_When you were giving birth to the twins and your labor went on and on, she howled like she was set on fire. She felt your pain and took it within herself with the need to stop it. I remember how she bawled until both babies were out and you finally found your rest. I should have known then."_

_Leandra drew a shaky breath and tightly shut her eyes as her husband spoke. She had been in so much pain during that birth, out of her mind with it even with Malcom healing her. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she thought that her then two year old would wish to take her pain away, take it upon herself._

"_So she will always be like this then? My baby will for all her life feel the pain of others? She will suffer? Oh Malcom, it seems so unfair for a child. She should not have this burden."_

_Malcom gently wiped away Leandra's tears, nodding silently. It was a terribly heavy burden for anyone, this gift of empathy. He resolved that he would teach his blessed child to be strong enough to handle the pain and to embrace the joy that came with healing. He would ensure that this gift of magic would not ruin her childhood. He would fight for his family to have a normal life._

"_Yes my love, she will. I will make her strong and teach her well. She may have inherited my magic but it is from you she get's her good heart. I trust in both of that, we both must trust. She can be of great help to me Leandra. Maker knows this village could use another healer and she dearly loves to help with the herbs. Think of all the good she can do."_

_Leandra sighed softly. He was right and she trusted him implicitly. Malcom would make her strong and it was true, her daughter never had an unkind word for anyone and derived true happiness from helping others. Perhaps they would be alright after all._

* * *

"_Bethany, c'mon! If we don't hurry we're gonna miss the puppies!"_

_Saelihnne tugged on her younger sisters hand, impatiently. A litter of mabari puppies had been born and the girl was anxious to see them as Sister Mary Elowina had promised. The young mabari bitch had been abandoned to the Chantry, heavily pregnant and hurt. While Saelihnne had promised her father not to practice magic outside the house, she had assisted the kind sister by bringing poultices and soothing the laboring hound as best as she could, as the hound huffed and whined. It had been a long ordeal but the young girl had been promised that she could see the puppies once weaned._

"_The puppies aren't going anywhere Sae. Mother will skin me if I leave without my cloak again."_

_Bethany sniffled, still recovering from the last stages of a spring cold. Her big sister helped drape the simple worn cloak about her shoulders, bussing her cheek with a kiss._

"_There now. Mother will not be angry and I think the fresh air will do you some good."_

_Saelihnne nodded, quite satisfied with her work. She grasped Bethany's hand with a giggle and trounced off with her in tow._

"_But what about Carver? Does he not want to see the puppies too?"_

_Bethany tumbled after her sister, earning a chuckle from their mother as they passed the hearth._

"_Oh Carver is off playing "Knights and Dragons" with Tristan again. Like he is gonna win."_

_Saelihnne snorted and shook her blond head. Her little brother Carver could talk of nothing else but knights and templars. He fancied himself a brave knight, ready to protect the world._

"_Be good girls. And if you see your brother around, do tell him I need him home by noon to help your father with the goats."_

_Leandra beamed to both her gifted daughters._

"_We will Mother."_

_Giggling as little girls do, the two dashed off for the Chantry, leaving their mother to wonder how many puppies her eldest was sure to bring home._

* * *

"_Oh look Bethany, aren't they just the best and sweetest things ever!"_

_Saelihnne grinned to her sister, flat on her back as a pair of mabari pups scrambled and nuzzled and licked their way over the eight year old. Bethany held a puppy in her lap, rubbing it's belly as she returned the smile._

"_Do you think Mother and Daddy will let us keep one Sae? I so hope so!"_

_Both young girls set into another bout of gleeful giggles, catching the gentle attention of Sister Mary Elowina._

"_These puppies are special, girls. You cannot just pick one out. They choose their own masters and mistresses. It's called imprinting. And your mother will scold me for a week should the whole bloomin' pack of them imprint on you! Don't you already have a herd of cats at the farm?"_

_This knowledge sent the two Hawke daughters into peals of delighted laughter along with the cries of "Pick me, pick me!". It was true, they did have quite the herd of stray cats that hung about the barn, both girls equally guilty of finding them and feeding them much to their mother's dismay. Saelihnne smiled to the Chantry sister amidst the bodies of squirming baby mabari._

"_But Sister Mary, doesn't the Maker teach us to be kind to those in need? The cats were just hungry is all. I can't help it that they like us so much they decided to stay. Right Bethany?"_

"_Uh huh. And just last week the Revered Mother said in the sermon that to offer kindness and shelter to the needy is to know the true light and mercy of the Maker himself, and all shall..."_

_Bethany was cut off before she could finish._

"_Yes, yes girls. I wonder if the Maker himself might not have a horde of kittens and puppies in the Golden City, brought by Andraste Herself. Hmmm?"_

_Sister Mary Elowina had to smile. They were such sweet girls, so innocent and good hearted. She suspected it was the eldest sister's influence on the younger. Saelihnne Hawke delighted in helping tend the rose garden and laid the finest of the fragile blooms at the foot of the statue that honored Andraste. Bethany assisted in the kitchen, preparing soup and bread for the poorest of the community and could recite many stanzas from the Chant of Light. It was Sister Mary's hope that the girls would find fine husbands one day or join the Chantry. For now however, they were two tired little girls in a pile of puppies, puppies that needed to eat and nap._

"_Now girls, let the pups get their rest and return to their mother. Bethany, the Revered Mother asked especially for your help this afternoon. You can come again tomorrow and play with the pups."_

_Two pairs of very sad green eyes stared up, but both girls nodded obediently._

"_Yes Sister Mary."_

_Bethany brushed off her pale blue pinafore and gave her big sister a hand up. Saelihnne glanced over to the mabari mother and her puppies with a smile. Tucking her long blond hair behind her ears she wrapped her arms around the Chantry sister in a hug, her small face craning upwards._

"_Thank you Sister Mary Elowina. Father says he should have more healing potions and poultices tomorrow."_

_As the woman was about to reply, she heard a sharp yip and glanced in surprise at one of the puppies. The little mabari who had been playing with Saelihnne toddled over and flopped upon the young girl's feet._

"_Now now you silly pup, back to your mum."_

_Sister Mary went to scoop up the defiant puppy, but the puppy was having nothing of it. He yipped again and again as gentle hands went to carry him back to his mother, the yipping turning to whimpering and crying as he was separated from Saelihnne._

"_Oh by Andraste's blessed bootstraps, I should have known this would happen. The bloody dog has imprinted. My dear, it seems you have a puppy. May the Maker show you mercy where your mother's switch will not. I will never hear the end of this."_

_Saelihnne just grinned, taking the squirming bundle into her small arms. Her radiant face was assaulted with the sweetness of puppy breath and laves of his pink, wet tongue. Happy yipping ensued and both girls were overjoyed to have a new pet to love on._

"_Don't worry Sister Mary. Mother will love him and I promise to take very good care of him. He will sleep with us and protect us from Flemeth the witch! Won't you boy?"_

_The mabari pup yipped once as if to understand, writhing his little rump in pleasure._

"_You shouldn't say that name out loud Sae. You know what Elder Miriam said. She said that if you look in a mirror and say her name..."_

_Saelihnne cut her sister off with a giggle._

"_Oh Bethany, you don't really believe that do you? Daddy says it's all rubbish and besides, if it is true, we have a brave mabari to protect us."_

"_Be a luv and bring this to your Father, dear. May Andraste watch and guide you child."_

_Sister Mary Elowina tucked a few silver coins into Saelihnne's hip pouch in payment for the potions and poultices. Gently she shepherded the dark haired Bethany into the Chantry to help with the noonday meal. The older woman had to smile to hear girlish laughter and playful barking as Saelihnne and her new puppy raced back to their farm._

* * *

"_Girls can't play "Knights and Dragons", 'cause only boys can be knights!"_

_Carver frowned deeply, his dark eyebrows knitting together as he placed his hands on his hips. He had found both his sisters playing in their shared room, the mabari puppy donning a makeshift cape made from a worn blue blanket. It was another rainy day in Lothering Village and the Hawke children had to get creative when they could not enjoy the outside. Bethany turned to glare at her twin, wriggling her fingers menacingly._

"_Can too. There was a girl knight in Orlais. Aveline. So there. Go away Carver before I set your hair on fire. Again."_

_Carver blanched at his sister's words. His head still bore the fading burn marks of when Bethany had discovered her magical talent. Bloody witches they were! He was outnumbered in his household, constantly surrounded with magic, between Saelihnne learning her healing arts and Bethany delighting in setting everything she could get away with on fire. Especially him._

"_Well, stupid dogs can't be knights. Or dragons. Gimme my sword back you stupid witch!"_

_The mabari puppy turned his expressive brown eyes towards Carver and snarled menacingly, baring needle sharp teeth in an effort to warm him away from the two girls. It worked. Carver stormed off, stomping his booted feet, muttering about spoiled witch girls and the unfairness of it all._

_Saelihnne had remained oblivious to her siblings bickering, she was in the middle of a knighting, something of far more importance then her brother getting a haircut via fireball. Standing regally before the blanket clad puppy, she cleared her throat dramatically, wielding Carver's wooden toy sword._

"_I the Queen of Thedas anoint thee, Ser Snarl. Grand protector of the lands and conqueror of annoying baby brothers. Bow Ser Snarl and know honor!"_

_Damned if the mabari did not lower his head and yip with the honor bestowed him._

_Once the knighting ceremony had been concluded, the still draped Ser Snarl hightailed it towards the kitchen to beg for mutton scraps as only a mabari can. Big, pitiful, brown eyes of soulful mourning accompanied a piteous whimper towards the mistress of the house. It worked every time, much to Leandra's exasperation. The girls left alone, abandoned their game to snuggle beneath a thick quilt upon their shared feather bed._

"_Sae? Does it ever scare you? The magic I mean." Bethany whispered as she snuggled close to the warmth of her elder sister._

"_Hmm? Scare me? Sometimes. Last week when Daddy dragged in poor Farmer Lowen's wife and she lost the babe, it hurt really bad. All my insides felt like they were being torn and burned. No matter how hard I wished, they both died." Saelihnne felt fresh tears sting her eyes from the memory of the stillbirth, mother and son both perishing from a too narrow birth canal._

"_I still feel kinda bad about what I did to Carver. I didn't mean to burn all his hair off, he just made me so mad! I dunno what happened. He can be so mean sometimes. Threatening to turn us all in to the Templars, no matter what Mother and Daddy say." Bethany sighed, clasping fingers with Saelihnne, wishing she was more like her._

"_Daddy says we must always think first and then cast. Magic is a gift from the Maker, Bethany else people wouldn't be born with it. But you didn't know. Carver can be really mean. Sometimes I have thoughts about paralyzing him on the privy when he says bad things. It is one thing to think, another to do, like the Revered Mother says. He's still our brother and is good deep down inside. Somewhere beneath the yucky worms." _

_Saelihnne yawned sleepily, giving her sister's hand a squeeze as she giggled. Bethany reached her childlike chubby fingers to wipe away Saelihnne's tears. She felt sorry for her big sister as much as she admired her talent. At eight she could already assist their father with healing and knew as much herb lore as Elder Miriam. Yet her golden haired sister suffered terribly for it._

"_Beth?" Saelihnne whispered quietly in the embrace of darkness. "Do you ever go places in your dreams?"_

"_Sometimes. I dream of a farm with golden fields and a handsome farmer and our children." Bethany touched her forehead against her sibling's, whispering back. _

_Saelihnne sighed softly and shook her head. How could she explain where she sometimes went at night when other children dreamed of castles and candy treats, handsome farmers and lush wheat fields. She frowned a bit, even as sleepy as she was._

"_No silly. I mean actually go somewhere awake. The misty lands. It's like there is no daytime or night time. I sometimes go to a great field of wildflowers and I can run and run forever. And the tickles. The little lights, they like to tickle and play. Sometimes they whisper but I can never understand what they say. The feel nice though, the lights. They make the hurt go away."_

_Bethany giggled as she listened, not believing a word of it._

"_I mean it Beth. Don't laugh. Maybe if we hold hands we can go together, you'll see. There the grass is purple and the flowers are taller than Mother's spinning wheel. All around are the pretty lights that like to play. But it's all fuzzy, kinda like when you rub your eyes too hard."_

_Bethany just nodded, hearing the sincerity of Saelihnne's voice. Something was very wrong, she could feel it. She gave her sister's hand another squeeze before finding an excuse to fetch some water. She had to talk to her father. Now._

* * *

_**Author's notes.**_

For those of you who read, review and offer me such encouragement on my other story, On Dalish, fear not for I have not given up. I won't get into gory details, let's just say pain meds and surgery do not appease my muse at all. Sahira may even make an appearance here. I would like to thank you all, for being so kind and patient.

Saelihnne is the catalyst of my six year old WoW healer who is now officially retired from raiding due to the horror of the expansion. Maybe they fixed holy priests, I have already gone. I usually play a healer in any game I play and some of you may recognize the name from the Bioware boards. Yeah that's me. The quiet lurker who fell in love with Ander's little kissy groans. Saelihnne became Hawke with a few surprises.

Empaths are not canon and those of you who know me , know too, I like to take liberties, I am at the mercy of my muse and you will see where it all leads, the title is a dead giveaway.

I am always so deeply moved by the stories Bioware outlines for us, and I wished to give my tender hearted healer a childhood before the heartbreaking events of the end game. There will be romance and some seriously disturbing moments, therefore I rate this M. If you are easily offended, you have been warned. I mean dark and violent as was DA2.

I would like to thank all those of this community who inspire me so much to be a better writer, the recent storm moon and Equinox for lighting the fire beneath my fanny, and Fan Fiction for giving us a place to pour our hearts out. I take liberties with dialogue as I have only completed DA2 three times, and this old hippy is too old to do recall. This is Sae's story afterall.

I always appreciate good constructive critique, your joy is mine. I write another chapter as I post this.

I know, I know, Bioware owns it, I just thank them for a beautiful canvas to dribble on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Justice Tempered**

Prologue – Adolescence

**A/N –** I would like to thank the following folks: relay and Witchybee for their kind reviews.

Thanks to mcneko, falloutkitten, Eryn S, and Kira Kyuuketsuki for the favorites and alerts. It makes my whole day to see those and to know you are enjoying the story.

I had to cut this chapter off as it was getting quite lengthy, so there will be more.

Super thanks to my wonderful husband Dan for his beta skills, reassurance and late night trips to the store. I promise you will get your Meredith smut soon.

Reviews are always welcomed. 

_Bethany sat behind her big sister, easing the teeth of a wooden comb through Saelihnne's long, lustrous hair. She sighed to herself as she smoothed the flaxen stands, envious of that tumbling waist length wealth. She hated her mousy, brown locks, cut short. Bethany could not stay envious for long, her elder sister was sweet and had not a mean bone in her body. It was not fair, how she suffered in silence when using her gifts._

"_Mother says you are to look your best when we go to the harvest festival. She is even letting you borrow her green chemise! Won't that look lovely with your new corset. Farmer Hanson's son will just faint away at the sight of you." Bethany giggled, setting the comb away. Her deft fingers began to weave a braid and pale green ribbon through Saelihnne's blond hair._

"_If you like him so much, you can play the part of "Maiden" at the festival. I've no interest at all in Travers Hanson. I am waiting for love, despite mother's attempts to marry me off. There is no man in this village that is truly romantic. I want flowers and poetry, not another chicken from the Hanson's farm. Really Beth, how is a chicken even remotely romantic?" Saelihnne's smirked and laughed, recalling the awkward gift. It was not that Travers Hanson was not a nice boy, or handsome. Travers simply did not make her heart sing._

"_Flowers and poetry will not provide for you or your children, Saelihnne Hawke. Travers is a perfectly fine man and the best catch in Lothering. You should be flattered he pays you any attention at all."_

_Leandra walked in the small but tidy room the two girls shared, a freshly ironed chemise of soft sage green draped over her arm. She smiled at the sight of her daughters. Every week the proud mother stashed away a few silvers for a dowry for her eldest child, wanting her to know a simple and happy life._

"_But Mother, Travers is such a bore. What ever happened to 'Love is more important than money?' You ran away from an arranged marriage to wed Daddy, did you not?" Saelihnne quipped, taking the soft chemise from her mother's arm and donning it over her smallclothes and bloomers._

"_Indeed I did, my dear and you have never known your grandparents. I carry no regrets but I would have my children provided for after your father and I are gone. Is it too much to ask that you at least dance with the poor boy once, give him a chance? Now hold up your arms and I will lace you up." Leandra sighed, lifting a floral embroidered corset hued in gentle shades of rose and green. It slipped easily over Saelihnne's head, her calloused fingers tugging on the corset's lacing to tighten it._

"_Ow! Mother I would like to breathe at the festival, must it be so tight? Besides, Bethany likes Travers, why not marry her off to him?" Saelihnne giggled as she tried to hold still, earning a glare from her sister._

"_You are the eldest Sae, you must marry first, then I shall start looking for a suitable match for Bethany. Miriam seems to think that John Blackhorn, the blacksmith's son would be suitable. Such beautiful grandchildren you both shall have." Leandra Hawke mused as she fussed with the corset, giving the twin strings a final, sharp tug. She turned her attentions to Bethany as Saelihnne gathered her circlet of fresh autumn flowers._

"_I would be happy with either, Mother. If Sae does not wish to marry Travers, I certainly would. Half the village girls would, boring or not." Bethany chimed in as she stepped into her crisp navy skirt and held up her arms to be laced into a pale blue corset._

_A knock at the door stilled their lighthearted conversation._

"_Are we all ready, ladies? Any more primping and preening and we shall miss all the dancing!" Malcom called forth, having heard snippets of the conversation. While he did not agree that his eldest should be carted off to the most profitable farm, he had to smile at his wife's intentions. She only wanted a good life for her children and had been raised as nobility. Despite following her own heart he knew she mourned the loss of relationship with her parents._

"_Yes Daddy, we are ready. Do I really have to dance with Travers Hanson?" Saelihnne gushed as she hurried to open the door for her Father and her brother, who stood scowling behind the patriarch of the family. The sixteen year old apostate batted her pale gold lashes for emphasis as she smoothed her dark rose skirt._

"_If you know what is good for you, you will." Carver scoffed, rolling his eyes in annoyance._

"_Sunshine, you may dance with whomever you want. You look a vision, my dove." Malcom crooked his arm for his wife to take and grinned at his two daughters and son._

"_Good, then Bethany can dance with boring Travers and I can go trade for herbs. The Chasind folks always have the best." Saelihnne smiled and grasped her sister's hand, following her parents and brother down the stairs and out of the cottage to enjoy the revels of the festival._

* * *

_A large bonfire flamed brightly on the outskirts of the village, sending crimson sparks to spiral towards the starlit night sky. Colorful booths had been set up offering foods and wares, the soft thrum of drums and the melodic strums of lutes adding a playful ambiance. A few from the nearby Chasind tribes had come to trade, the festival of the harvest having started with their traditions. Over the years the celebration had adapted to what the Chantry would tolerate and what was once sung to the ancient gods of earth and sky was now devotion to the Maker. The Hawke family eagerly greeted familiar friends, Carver immediately setting off to socialize with the templars who had come with the sisters of the Chantry. Carver was a moody boy at fourteen, wanting nothing to do with magic, which he found himself surrounded by. The constant pressure to protect his sisters from the very order he so admired waged an internal war within the young man. Happy to be away from his frivolous sisters, Carver gladly accepted a pint of ale from his friend Ser Phillip, a templar recruit._

_Saelihnne and Bethany held hands as they strolled the booths, the elder stopping to inspect various herbs and dried flowers for use in healing. Saelihnne always enjoyed any festival that allowed the rather reclusive Chasind to attend. She often took the time to learn of their medicinal herbs while her sister delighted more in the spices and produce. Both were chatting up an older woman who was bartering an array of fresh herbs when they were interrupted by a masculine voice._

"_Um, Miss Sae, how did that chicken work out for you?" Travers Hanson stammered, tapping the petite blond mage on the shoulder. Saelihnne winced a bit, cringing at the sound of his voice. She immediately felt guilty, not finding flaw with the awkward young man, she just wished she was not the attention of his affections._

"_Oh, Travers. Well met. I suppose the chicken is getting on fine with the other hens." Saelihnne turned, offering the dark haired young man a strained smile._

"_Um, well that's good. Nice night for a festival, eh? You sure look pretty tonight." Travers grinned, truly trying his hardest to woo the young girl before him._

"_Thanks, Travers. Doesn't Bethany look especially fetching though? Easily the most lovely girl at the festival, don't you agree?" Saelihnne grinned and turned to her head to catch the gaze of her younger sister, only to find she had gone. Blast and damnation, she thought. Now I am stuck with him._

"_I suppose she's fine enough, but not as near as pretty as you. I've been savin' the first dance for you, ya know. Be honored 'an all ta have ya on my arm." Travers extended his large, rough hand for Saelihnne to take. His hazel eyes shone as he waited expectantly for an answer._

"_I, well, um..." Saelihnne glanced nervously about, hoping to catch the eye of someone who would save her from this most awkward moment. Much to her dismay, her sister was engaged in conversation with John Blackhorn and the old woman she had been bartering with cackled at her, offering a toothless grin. If she was seen engaged in more than one dance with Travers, it could be seen as acceptance of his courtship. That was the last thing she wanted._

"_Go on there girl. Get ta dancin'. Be lucky you be catchin' such a fine one" The old herbalist offered encouragingly._

"_I well, okay Travers, just one dance though. I need to, um, tune my lute if I am to sing later." Saelihnne stammered, taking the young farmer's hand and allowing him to lead her towards the bonfire. Travers grinned as he squeezed Saelihnne's fingers, pulling her towards the festive music and other dancers._

_They joined another couple and started to dance a simple country reel, the delicate mage lifting her skirts to curtsey as Traver's bowed. They both joined hands with the other couple and began the spirited dance, prancing in a circle as the lutes and drums played. Old Barlin accompanied the lively tune with his fiddle as partners swapped and spun around each other before returning to clasp hands once more. Saelihnne loved to dance, she just wished she was dancing with someone other than Travers. He looked all too happy, beaming at her as he took her waist. To him, she was an angel, spinning with her long golden hair fanning out, her cheeks flushed a tender pink. Saelihnne desperately tried to make eye contact with anyone she could a she danced in a circle with the three others of her group._

"_Bah, your sister could do better than some farmer, Carver. You should put in a good word for me. I'd take good care of her. What protection can that bumpkin offer?" Ser Phillip gazed longingly at the vision dancing within the firelight of the bonfire. Ever since he had come to Lothering as a recruit, the pretty blond had caught his eye. Ser Phillip took another long pull from his tankard of ale, his fifth that night._

"_I don't think that is such a good idea, Phillip. Saelihnne is a simple country girl, not a good wife for a templar. What about one of the lay sisters?" Carver blanched, his skin feeling clammy and surely turning pale. As much as he resented magic, he would not let his sisters come to harm. What if the templar could sense Saelihnne's magic? No matter how well she had learned to hide it there was always the chance of being discovered. He would not allow his family to be endangered. Ever since learning his magical sister could enter the Fade, their father had cracked down on how much time the girls could spend at the chantry, stating they were needed more at home._

"_Eh, we'll see. Let's get another ale before the Revered Mother starts her blessing." Phillip was only half listening to Carver as his hungry eyes roamed over Saelihnne's graceful body. His inebriated mind thought of all kinds of things he would like to do to her, make her scream his name and beg for more as he took her for his own._

* * *

_Revered Mother Lucinda coughed as she moved through the smoky night, the air filled with the scent of heavy herbal incense and burning wood. The moon was swollen in the pitch black sky, offering a soft light to wash over the revelers. As much as she thought the heathen festival should be done away with, she could not argue that these events did keep the peace between the village and the outlying Chasind barbarian tribes. The young folks seemed to enjoy it and it did bring festivity to otherwise hard lives. Most lived hand to mouth, sharing the bounty of their prospective farms and such formed a close knit community. Pity the Bann never took to time to get to know the people who paid him._

_The Revered Mother strode slowly over to where her three charges waited. Lucinda could not claim to possibly understand the significance of representing the cycle of life, but to these farmers and the Chasind who had come, it was deeply important. Miriam was to play the role of crone, when the fields die to make fertile the earth, to sew seeds of life and bounty. She seemed to enjoy the bit of attention her role brought and had dressed in a simple linen dress, dyed black. Miriam sat beside a heavily pregnant and flushed faced Ann Marie, who wore the face of fertility and motherhood for this event. The poor dear look miserable, even as Miram rubbed her belly through her scarlet hued ensemble. Mother Lucinda hoped the woman's labor would not start until after the festivities. Ah, and there was Leandra Hawke's eldest, Saelihnne, speaking animatedly to a raven haired girl as she tuned the strings of her lute. It was a shame she did not spend as much time in the Chantry as she used to as a child. Such a sweet girl, always the first to offer help. She was the chosen maiden this year, the virgin who held all the promise of new life. There were still a few minutes before the blessing needed to commence and so Revered Mother Lucinda took a seat with Miriam and Ann Marie, leaving Saelihnne and her friend to chat._

"_It's so unfair you refuse to teach me to be a cat. It must be such fun to prowl about and listen to people when they think none can hear."Saelihnne pressed her forehead to Morrigan's, giggling as she whispered._

"_Mother said even if you had the skill to learn, she would not teach you. Your talents lie elsewhere. I for one am no healer." Morrigan glanced about nervously, fearful of the templars that casually mingled about with the crowd of villagers. _

_The raven haired girl had braved the village of Lothering out of loneliness originally, having no children her own age to interact with. She had met Saelihnne by chance years before, having watched her gather herbs and caught the scent of magic upon her despite her attempts to hide it. Morrigan thought the girl foolish to waltz about so out in the open and so close to the Chantry but had been pleasantly surprised that Saelihnne had not shied away from her or called her a barbarian when confronted by the dark haired little girl. The two had formed something of a friendship, teaching each other magic under cover of the Wilds._

"_I will never understand your mother, Morrigan. Why can't you both come to Sunday supper? I mean I have been to your hut twice now and you never come to my home." Saelihnne smiled to her friend, trying to encourage her. To Sae, Morrigan was just painfully shy._

"_Trust me, if Mother ever did come for supper, you would have to move. You are lucky she allows me to have you over as it is. Did you practice what I showed you?" Morrigan's cultured voice dropped into a lower whisper, her golden eyes intense as she looked at Saelihnne._

"_You are so silly, Morrigan. Why would we have to move? I will respect your wishes and stop bugging you. I hardly see you as much as I would like. To answer your question, yes, I practiced the cloaking. I think I have it pretty much down pat. Not so much as a sniff from the templars so far." Saelihnne giggled gently, winking to Morrigan._

"_Good. Never trust them Sae. They are trained to hate and kill those with our gifts. Promise me you will take care to stay away from them." Morrigan's tone suddenly went more serious as she gripped her friend's hand firmly. Golden eyes locked upon serene green, demanding the promise._

"_Daddy has forbid me from the Chantry anyway. But I promise, if it will make you feel better. Wouldn't it be such fun though, to creep up behind one as a sleek black cat, and hiss until he screams like a girl?" Saelihnne grinned, giving Morrigan's fingers a squeeze as she winked sassily._

"_Which is why I shall never teach you. Now who is this bloke your mother is trying to marry you off to? I could set a glamour upon another girl and he would leave you alone for good, if you wanted me to. Or you could just use him for what you wanted." Morrigan shrugged casually like she was discussing the weather._

"_Aw, you are too sweet Morrigan, always looking out for me. I can tell you anything and you understand. This is why we are best friends. No hexes, please. I shall simply tell every silly farmer boy no. I shall have romance and love in my life. Nothing less shall do. Even if that means I am one hundred with as many cats, prescribing herbs in my ancient age." Saelihnne spontaneously grasped up Morrigan in a tight hug, laughing with glee as her raven haired friend scowled and writhed her way from the unexpected show of affection._

"_Gah! Must you always be such a sentimentalist? And the hugging! I do wish you'd stop hugging me!"_

_Morrigan hissed before her face softened and she smiled. Despite being so unused to casual physical contact, she could not deny her best friend completely._

"_Oh snap, the Revered Mother is looking over here. I have to go. Take care Morrigan and thank your mother for the recipe. Who knew Harlot's Blush could cure boils?" Saelihnne laughed as she rose and smoothed her skirts, wandering over to take her place near the other women who were part of the blessing._

_Morrigan vanished quietly, calling upon her power to shapeshift into a small black cat, darting off into the darkness to hide from templar eyes._

_The blessing of the festival has started in earnest, the Revered Mother distorting years beyond count of rich tradition into Chantry rote. Morrigan's fur stood on end to see such a blasphemy. The long length of her tail shivered as she stalked off, leaving her friend to sing praises she was sure she did not truly feel. At least Saelihnne took genuine pleasure in song and music itself. Morrigan knew it mattered not to her if she was singing a lullaby to a child or some atrocious Chantry rot. The black cat watched as Maiden, Mother and Crone each sang their parts, earning the thunderous applause of the gathered crowd. T'was truly a shame the actual ritual could not be performed in all it's naked glory. Now that would give the Revered Mother something to keep her up at night. Dark whiskers twitched and the lithe cat stretched languorously before stealing back into the Wilds._

* * *

_Jealous brown eyes gazed upon the pair of mage girls. So this is what it was like to live free as an apostate? There had been no mention of blood magic or demons, just the lighthearted banter between two friends who both knew magic. The Circle always lied, and the young man was pleased he had escaped again, despite his exhaustion and hunger. His fingers pressed to his side as he winced with pain, the damn wolves having almost made a snack of him. Well it was worth it to be free of lies and rules, the constant reminder that he was something evil when he knew he was not. Blood seeped between his tightly pressed fingers and he cursed himself for not having stolen more lyrium potions from the Circle's stores. Anders continued to watch the petite blond with fascination, maybe she could help him. She was an apostate and didn't the dark haired girl mention something about healing? Biting back a groan, Anders kept to the shadows unnoticed, as his gaze transfixed upon the lovely young woman who was now strumming the lute and singing some song of thanks to the Maker for a bountiful harvest. He could not tear his gaze away, feeling a warmth fill his being despite the agony he was in. Must be a damn infection, or fucking rabies. Blast it! Gosh she was pretty though, and Anders bet she would be sweet to kiss, but there was always that underlying fear of growing attached. Only he would think of this while stifling groans of pain. It had been so deeply ingrained that he could never love, because it would be used against him. That seed had been planted firmly within him as a child, and nurtured with the hate and hypocrisy he saw every day. Add a healthy dose of beatings and fear and that made for one extremely poorly adjusted young man. Releasing a held breath, Anders waited for his moment to catch her attention, fingering a small pebble nervously._

_After what had seemed like hours, the girl was finally alone, shrugging her lute upon her shoulder. With careful aim, Anders tossed the pebble to catch her attention, wincing a bit as it hit her arm. He hoped it did not hurt her._

_Saelihnne blinked as she felt the sting to her arm and glanced about, her eyes growing wide as she caught sight of a young man in the shadows. He put his fingers to his lips to warn her to silence. She nodded, drawing a breath as her brows furrowed. His pain was intense and her green eyes welled with fresh hot tears. Taking a few glances around to ensure she would not be seen, she hurried over to where the young man was hiding within a grove of trees. Once she got closer she could feel his pain more intensely, pushing down the urge to weep._

"_You have to help me! Please! You're a mage, you have to help!" Anders whispered, his voice strained._

"_Shh, I can't heal you here, I have to get you some place safe. Stay still now, the templars are returning to the Chantry." Saelihnne quickly hushed him and muttered quickly beneath her breath, the cloaking spell Morrigan had taught to her. She hoped it would be enough for both of them. Both apostates watched in silence from the cover of darkness as the templars staggered by, clearly having enjoyed themselves at the festival._

_Once the immediate danger had passed, Saelihnne grasped Ander's wrist, feeling his pulse. It was not great, and his skin burned with fever but he would live if she worked quickly. She could smell the blood on him as well as the stench of infection. Reaching into her boot, she grasped the crescent shaped boline she used for harvesting herbs and tore a length of skirt to use as a makeshift bandage to staunch the bleeding from his side a bit._

"_Can you stand? My father is a healer and our home is not far from here. Come, lean on me and we shall get you well." Saelihnne draped Anders' arm over her shoulder and helped him to rise. Anders stumbled a bit and gasped as he heard a whine, all but falling on his arse at the sight of a very large mabari._

"_Um yeah, I think so. Sweet Maker! Tell me that is your dog?" Anders stammered, sincerely hoping that the templars that hunted him had not resorted to dogs. If they did, he was as good as dead._

"_Yes that is my dog, Ser Snarl. He won't hurt you, I promise. He is going to run ahead and warn us of anyone who might see us. You got that boy? Of course you do." Saelihnne nodded towards her mabari and watched as he bounded away towards the cottage._

"_An apostate who heals and also happens to have a mabari? Someone must be looking out for me." Anders groaned, wobbly on his feet, his face slick with cold perspiration. His stomach rumbled with the angry pangs of hunger as he leaned against Saelihnne, grateful his plan had worked._

"_Yes, and you must be one too, to know so much about me. It's not like I can cast healing spells in the open now, can I? Dumb as that is. I should be able to. I'm Saelihhne Hawke. Just hold on a little longer." The sixteen year old whispered to the filthy young man and hoped there were mutton bones left to make the poor thing a broth._

_The last thing Anders could recall before passing out was the look of concern in her green eyes, and the shine of tears upon her cheeks._

* * *

"_Saelihnne Hawke have you lost your mind? You can't keep an apostate here in the house! What if the templars come? Would you endanger the entire family for a runaway?" Leandra hissed shrilly, fighting to keep her voice down as her daughter busied herself before the hearth to warm water._

"_What if it was me, Mother? Or Bethany? Or Father? Would you not wish for somebody to help us if we were hurt? Would you not wish mercy and compassion for us, or would it be better to die alone in a ditch? I will keep him safe." Saelihnne glared angrily at her mother, hurriedly gathering healing herbs and clean towels._

"_But it's not you, or Bethany, or your father. You can't bring home every wounded soul you find, girl. The risk is too great. It would kill me if you were taken to the Circle, or worse, murdered for doing this." Leandra pleaded, imploring her daughter to rethink her actions._

"_She should have left him to die, he is probably an abomination anyway." Carver quipped, casting a nasty glare to his elder sister._

"_Carver, just shut up! Not every mage who leaves the Circle is a monster. You should know better than to ever say such things!" Bethany snarled at her brother, her gaze growing menacing as she stood in defense of her sister._

"_I hate magic!" Carver bellowed and stormed out of the house, cursing beneath his breath._

"_Enough! What's done is done. Sae did the right thing. What's important now is that this young man get well, and he certainly cannot do that with the lot of you shrieking like harpies. Now let us handle this." Malcom Hawke rubbed his temples, knowing he could not fault his daughter for doing the exact same thing he had done many, many times. He would simply have to teach his girl not not announce that another one of their patients was an escaped and hunted mage to Leandra. If she had any idea just how many escapees he had helped over the years she would boil him in oil. Ignorance was indeed bliss, or at the very least prevented a migraine._

_Saelihnne and Malcom worked tirelessly through the night to heal the worst of Anders' wounds and infection. It had spread quickly through his blood and seeped into his lungs. Lyrium potions were a luxury they could hardly afford so while one cast the needed healing spells and restoration, the other applied the poultices and cooled the young man's body temperature with cold cloths. Bethany kept her father and sister awake with pots of strong hot tea, taking away bloody towels to be properly burned. It had been an exhausting night for all. Malcom's gaze softened as he looked to his daughter, she was clearly spent some hours before, her eyes red rimmed and swollen._

"_Get some rest dove, I will stay with our charge. We have done all we can and he just needs to sleep peacefully." Malcom spoke softly, wiping his fingers clean of blood._

"_It's alright Daddy. I can stay with him. I brought him home after all. He can't be too much trouble dead asleep. He will be hungry when he awakes though, and will need help." Saelihnne yawned sleepily, fighting off the urge to just collapse. Never had she cast so long in her life. She would not leave the young man's side until he was well._

"_I am proud of you, my Sunshine. I could not have done better myself and you did not fall apart. I know the night was very painful for you too. Get some rest soon. I will be back later, hopefully with your brother in tow. Bloody Carver, he must have gotten his temper from your mother." Malcom patted his daughter's hand and placed a kiss to her cheek._

* * *

_Anders became aware of lying on something incredibly soft and the lovely scent of flowers around him. He knew not what kind as he was far too peaceful to open his eyes just yet. No, better to keep them shut and just enjoy this precious moment of bliss before reality came crashing back and he found himself locked in a cell by himself. He could hear purring close by his head and the gentle sounds of feminine voices. Had to be a dream, or a really great part of the Fade. Did the Fade even have cats? Pretty girls? Anders did not care at the moment, content to be out of pain and nestled within a soft bed._

"_He's very brave, whoever he is. I can't say I blame him one bit. If I was taken away from my family I would do the same. Can you imagine Bethany, being taken away as a little boy, never to see your mother and father again? Daddy says that they tell them they are evil too instead of blessed. I will never understand why the Chantry does that." Saelihnne mused quietly, casting a tender gaze on her sleeping charge. She took a bowl of mutton broth from her younger sister and set it to a side table._

"_Brave or incredibly reckless. Maybe the Circle is not so bad, I mean they do teach magic right? What if they are right? What if it's not natural and the Maker punishes us?" Bethany replied in a hushed whisper as not to wake the patient. She had grown more and more uncomfortable with her gift over the years, not wishing to develop her talents. Bethany was deathly afraid of the Fade, demons and even the feeling of her own magical power coursing through her veins._

"_Don't be ridiculous, Beth. The power to heal, to save lives is a blessing. Magic is a blessing. Like anything else it can be abused but that doesn't mean that everyone who can practice magic is evil. The Maker made the world. Does He not have magic, the power of creation?" Saelihnne waxed philosophical, partially due to her sheer exhaustion. She truly did believe magic was a gift and that most did not have the benefit of her father's guiding hand._

_Anders listened to the exchange, fully awake. There was no way he was going to open his eyes now, not when the conversation was so interesting. The pretty blond, Saelihnne totally got it. She understood perfectly and had never been within a Circle and it's madness. She understood his heart. It was so unfair, everything he dreamed in a woman he could not have. The romantic side of Anders' conscious said he could, he was free to do what he wished, have his heart's desire. The practical wanting to survive side whispered he was a hunted apostate with a phylactery which meant the templars catching him here was just a matter of time. For the moment, the romantic side won over, feigning sleep as he continued to eavesdrop. He hoped the smile perched upon his lips did not give him away._

"_Maybe you are just sweet on him? Another wounded bird, saved by your compassion, sister? You fall in love with all of them, be it man or beast." Bethany poked her sister in the ribs, grinning at her._

"_Well, once cleaned up, he would be quite smashing I think. But I still think him incredibly brave. This is no baby bird, Beth. He is a man who has risked all to live as he believes. Why should he not be free as we are? Speaking of cleaning up, he is a little ripe. Be a luv and fetch me a tub of water while I change the bandages?" Saelihnne blushed, her high cheekbones suffusing with a soft rose hue. Her skilled fingers unwound the yellow and crimson stained bandages as she hid her flushed face. A cool cloth was eased over Anders' ribs before a fresh dressing was adhered._

"_If you say so, Sae. What kind of stability can a runaway mage offer? No lands or farm, no income? What will you do, sell poultices and heal the poor for mere coppers for your supper?" Bethany just shook her head. Saelihnne may be the oldest but Bethany was far more practical. She held no romantic notions like her sister did. Gathering up the stained bandages Bethany felt sorry for her sister, for she would end up an old maid with that hundred cats in tow._

_Anders tried to sniff himself without being heard. One eye cracked barely open to watch his pretty savior place a bowl of broth near the fire to keep warm. Did he smell bad? Of course he did, he had been without a bath for weeks. The man was so hungry, the scent of watered down broth made his stomach growl and he alternately cursed it for that meant she would know he had awakened. Maybe that was not such a bad thing. Maybe he could milk it for what it was worth. What man wouldn't, kept under the careful ministrations of a lovely young woman who seemed to hold his ideals on her own? Anders kept his eyes closed as his stomach growled painfully, he really could not keep up this facade for much longer._

"_Ser? Are you awake?" There was that melodic, soft voice again and the cool press of her hand against his forehead. She smelled of wildflowers and herbs and magic. Oh, did he really have to open his eyes?_

"_Um... kind of? What is that noise? Oh it is a cat!"Anders turned his head to come nose to nose with a kitten. So that was the purring he had heard. He smiled, having always been fond of cats._

"_He has been quite diligent, remaining by your side as Father and I healed you. Do you remember anything? Are you hungry? Of course you are hungry. I am such a daft idiot!" Saelihnne stammered, easing off the sickbed to fetch the bowl of warming broth. The hearth's firelight illuminated the graceful lines of her petite form, something that was not wasted on Anders._

"_Hardly daft my lady. You probably saved my miserable life. I can't say this is hardly miserable though, being tended by a pretty girl and a warm kitten, settled in a soft bed. There are worse fates I am told." Anders smirked playfully, his ribs aching a bit._

"_Can you sit up? Do you need some help? Here let me help you." Saelihnne set the bowl of broth by the bedside table before gently reaching to grasp Anders' shoulders, easing him to an upright position. She inadvertently moistened her lips as she glanced down to the thick wrap of linen about his ribs. There was no new blood so she was relieved he was safe enough to sit up._

"_You are too kind, Saelihnne is it? I am Anders, formerly of the Circle of Magi of Ferelden. Now just hunted prey I am afraid. I have to thank you for helping me. I know not what powers watched over me when you came along." Anders' smiled to the flushing girl, noting the blush on her cheeks. She thought he was smashing did she? Wonderful!_

"_So you escaped the Circle? Father and I have helped a few over the years. I have heard terrible things about that place. You need not fear for now, Anders. You are safe." Saelihnne took a moment to look into the depths of Anders' light brown eyes, seeing a warmth mingled with a tinge of pain. Her hand laid over the bandage at his ribs to cast a restoration spell, a faint blue light enveloping her gentle fingers as she murmured the familiar words._

"_Mmmm, much better. You are quite good for a girl so young and never classically trained. Whatever that means. Yes, I ran for my life, literally. The Circle is a prison. Be grateful you have never known it. Mages deserve to live as anyone else! We are not the evil the Chantry preaches." Anders closed his eyes as the cooling numbness of the spell eased over his skin, delving deep within the wound to encourage regeneration. When his brown eyes opened he was faced with the vision of a beautiful girl holding a bowl of broth for him._

"_I am, very grateful Anders. I cannot imagine what you must have gone through there. It is behind you now. Can you eat? Or shall I have to feed you myself?" Saelihnne smiled to her handsome yet scruffy apostate patient. Anders. Such a brave soul he was. His eyes were beautiful, honest and warm._

"_I am still weak, I think, yes. Dizzy. Surely more from the beauty before me than illness." Anders turned on his most charming smile. He was perfectly capable of feeding himself but would not deny the opportunity of having this pretty young thing dote on him. What man in his right mind would?_

"_Are you flirting with me, Anders?" Saelihnne blushed harder, reaching for the bowl of broth while stealing glances at him beneath lowered lashes. He was not the first man to flirt with her or call her beautiful, it had just never invoked butterflies in her belly before. She could listen to him talk all day, the timbre of his warm voice causing her heart to stir. Gently she drew the bowl of steaming broth to his lips, shyly glancing up at him._

"_Would you be terribly offended if I said yes?" Anders replied in a provocative whisper, thoroughly pleased by her reactions. Her shy innocence was a refreshing change from the urgent and brief tumblings he had encountered at the Circle. Everyone had their heart locked away there, and while sex was a wonderful thing, it did not satisfy the deepest part of him. Anders was a romantic at heart. He wanted more than a dark corner of a corridor. Carefully he drew a sip of the broth, the warmth traveling to ease his aching stomach. He had to sit on his hands to keep from reaching for the bowl and slurping it all down. No, it was worth small sips given by her hands to gaze upon this lovely face that blushed so charmingly._

"_Um, well, no. Unless you're the sort that says that to every girl. I so hope you are not." Saelihnne leaned forward as she offered the bowl to Anders' lips again, her hip brushing his thigh. The slight press sent a delightful warmth through her nerves and she could feel her neck flush scarlet. Expressive green eyes met his brown ones and she smiled at what she saw there. There was a playfulness mingled with sincerity and she shifted on the bed a little closer, despite the foul way he currently smelled. Saelihnne was awakening as a young woman and found that she rather liked these new feelings he stirred within her body and her heart._

"_You are not every girl, Saelihnne. We may not know each other well yet, but I hope to rectify that. Would you give a wounded and hunted apostate that chance? I think it would be quite something to know you." Anders actually stammered, the brush of her hip against the outside of his thigh causing a familiar throbbing between his legs that reminded him that things were perfectly functional down there**.** He **really** wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, dig his fingers into that long blond hair. No. Not yet. He was at least six years her senior and she was obviously not a girl who gave her charms away. He gazed at the perfection of her features, drinking in the darkness of her green eyes, the honey hue cream of her skin. There was a dusting of freckles over her delicate nose and her lips were slightly parted. The broth, yes the broth. Anders took another long sip of the warm and slightly spiced fare._

"_No she is not every girl! Anders is it? I believe the first thing that needs rectifying is your stench." Bethany returned to the workshop carrying an iron tub filled with warm water. Setting it down before the small hearth fire she planted her hands firmly on her hips as she gave Anders a very stern and serious look. Leave it to her sister to get all doe eyed over him, when she could tell he was trouble waiting to happen. Hell if she was going to allow her overly sensitive sister to get hurt._

"_Thank you Bethany. You are kind to bring heated water although you could have warmed it up here. Far easier than wasting wood for a mere bath." Saelihnne smiled to her little sister, seeing the concern etched upon her face. Why she was so afraid to use what the Maker had given her, Saelihnne would never understand._

"_Just because one can do magic does not mean one has to. Nothing wrong with heating a tub of water honestly." Bethany shot one of her patented annoyed looks to Saelihnne, shrugging her shoulders in a huff. She had never been that good with magic even when she had tried to learn. Not like her sister or father, who could call upon lightening, and fill the room with pale blue light to heal almost any injury. Magic was too mysterious, too reckless for her. It required a sort of self trust Bethany was unwilling to indulge. No it was better to learn practical things like cooking and sewing._

"_Bethany, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am grateful for the opportunity to finally bathe. I have no doubt I smell like something the mabari dragged home." Anders turned his charming smile to the dark haired girl who was obviously Saelihnne's younger sister. Protective of her too. Anders could not blame her. He assumed she too was a mage based on her comments and his brow rose for a moment quizzically, that she denied herself where as Saelihnne seemed to embrace her gift. Ah well, best not to get on little sister's bad side._

"_Supper will be ready in an hour. Shall I tell Mother you will be down?" Bethany's stern gaze softened to see her elder sister carefully feeding the young man in their care. She looked so tired, but Bethany knew she would not rest until she was sure her charge was fed and comfortable._

"_Yes, yes of course Bethany. I shan't be long at all. Thank you again, sister. Saelihnne turned her head to smile gently to Bethany, catching her gaze for an instant before the dark haired girl moved away._

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


	3. Chapter 3

**Justice Tempered **

**Prologue – Adolescence cont'd**

"_Well, this is a bit awkward, isn't it?" Anders eyed the tub of warm water by the fire before glancing back to Saelihnne's blushing face. Maker's breath, she was charming beyond words. Were her hands actually trembling as she drew away the now empty bowl of broth? That was sweet. She liked him. He had to grin a bit at that, for he liked her too, a lot in fact._

"_There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I do have a younger brother. And we have plenty of patients come in that, um, require, ah, well. Exposure. Yes. And bathing." Saelihnne winced, certain she was making a mess of things. She cast her eyes shyly downwards as she set the empty bowl to the table beside the bed. She could do this, really, even if he was handsome and charming. If only he would stop looking at her with those warm brown eyes that held little glints of gold. Mustering up her courage, she turned to her charge, determined to be professional and failing miserably at it. All she could do was blush from the roots of her hair to her toes._

"_You are so sweet, when you blush like that. Do you blush so prettily for all your patients?" Anders could not help himself as he teased her. It was so endearing to see her flustered, over him of all people. He was curious as to what she would do, and allowed his helpless farce to continue. Granted he was still quite weak, but he did have full use of his hands and arms, at least to undress. Not that he was going to let on just now. Oh no. Being bathed by this lovely one was not something Anders would deny himself, no matter how shy she was acting._

"_Well, no. There was the one time Farmer Harrigan had boils upon his backside and that was a bit, unnerving. Tell you what, I shall keep the bed sheet about you as you climb into the tub. The water has probably gone chill by now." Saelihnne nodded as she spoke softly. By Andraste's garters, why was she feeling so flustered at helping a man bathe now when she had seen plenty of people naked? It was not plenty of people though that made her heart skip a beat or look at her like **that.** Drawing a deep breath, she gathered the sheet about Anders' slim hips as she helped him to rise from the bed. Her arm wrapped around his bare waist, soft fingertips feeling the silk of his skin, and filthy or not she felt a jolt of desire course through her tender nerves._

"_Thank you, Sae. I promise I have no boils on my bottom. If I did you would be the first to know." Anders stepped into the now lukewarm water, enjoying himself to no end. She had such modesty, a luxury not given at the Circle where you had to bathe under the steady gaze of men wielding weapons in case you happened to turn into an abomination. Practical Anders was given vacation leave as romantic Anders had become enthralled. Her touch was so soft and tender, those gentle fingers lightly pressing to his bandaged ribs as he sunk into the water. He could feel the magic linger, so cool and comforting as the sheet slipped away. Anders lay his head against the back of the tub, sighing in relief as contentedness washed over him. He could just stay here, yes. Soak under the ministrations of his lovely healing beauty. _

"_I could just have my brother do this you know. He would be a lot less gentle, I assure you. Lucky for you I would not wish that fate upon my worst enemy." Saelihnne perched upon her knees behind the cast iron tub, wetting a washcloth and lathering it with a fragrant herbal soap Bethany had brought. The scent of sandalwood and rosemary rose from the soaking cloth as her free hand sought to heat the water, the soft murmur of the spell reaching Anders' ears. He was perfect. So handsome and brave and funny to boot. Fragrant steam started to rise from the water as Saelihnne eased the sudsy cloth gently over Anders' chest and she could not help but smile as he turned his head to look at her._

"_So you have mentioned. I imagine he must be quite protective of his lovely sister, yes?" Anders was officially in heaven, the clean scent of herbs replacing the stench of sweat and blood. The heat of the warm water was perfect and he closed his eyes, unable to suppress a moan as her gentle fingers worked a rich fragrant lather into his scalp._

"_I think he wishes I was not a mage. It's hard for him to be surrounded by magic, and have to help hide us from the very order he admires. Carver longs to be a templar someday. There now, just lean your head back and close your eyes, else the soap will sting while I rinse your hair." Saelihnne smiled as Anders complied, admiring the handsome features of his face. He did clean up nicely. Ever so gently, she scooped warm water into the cup of her hands to wash away the soap and suds from his hair. She glanced up with a start as she heard the door creak open._

"_I'll take it from here, my sunshine. I have no doubt you have done a wonderful job. Now go fetch some supper for yourself before you faint dead away and your mother starts to holler." Malcolm eyed his daughter, the telling blush on her cheeks having not escaped his notice. Was she smitten with the young man who looked quite comfortable lounging there in tub? Malcolm supposed she was, gauging from the way she cast her sparkling eyes down. She had never done that before when treating one of the wounded. Malcolm, sighed inwardly. It was just a matter of time, he supposed. His little girl had blossomed into a lovely young woman and he knew that meant that he would not be the only object of her devotion and affections. He would have a good chat with this young man before his darling daughter became any more enamored._

"_Yes Daddy. I hope you feel better Anders, I will be up to check your bandages later." Saelihnne eased to her feet, gifting her father with a radiant smile as she wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight hug._

"_There's a good girl." Malcolm pressed a kiss to Saelihnne's forehead, his eyes shining with pride as he watched her leave the room. Closing the door and grabbing up a stool, Malcom took a seat beside the washtub, giving Anders a quick but thorough assessment. No yellowing of the eyes, though he was pale, most probably due to the loss of blood he had suffered. He was thin, much too thin for a man he presumed to be in his early twenties at least. The bandages had a few stains, but such was to be expected considering the extent of the young apostate's wounds. The nervous look upon Anders' face, well Malcolm would let him squirm a bit, it was his privilege as a father._

"_Uh, good evening, Sir. I am beyond grateful for what you and your family have done for me. I have no means of repaying you, seeing they don't exactly give us an allowance at the Circle." Anders stammered, having wished his bath could continue without parental interruption. He thrust his right hand out of the water to offer it to Malcolm, who just started to laugh."_

"_So, Anders, your limbs seem to work just fine. I am Malcolm, head of this household. I understand my eldest found you in the woods, fleeing the Circle of Magi. You have caused a bit of an uproar in our usually quiet home." Malcolm canted his head, his sage green eyes sternly boring into Anders' face._

"_I'm..I'm so sorry about that, Sir. Really. I meant no harm. I heard her talking with another girl about magic and I could not heal myself with no mana and..." Anders continued to stumble and trip over his own tongue, growing pale, just waiting for this man to bellow at him or worse, turn him in to the Chantry. Would he do that? Turn him in? Sweat began to bead upon his forehead, trailing in rivulets across his stubbly cheeks._

"_Calm down lad. You are not the first mage to seek help here. You are safe, for now. You are lucky Saelihnne found you and brought you to us. She has a talent for bringing home the wounded, much to her mother's dismay. You can understand our concern though. Templars will be hunting you." Malcolm's gaze grew a bit more gentle as he visually examined his patient. This young man would need a few weeks at least to heal and gather his strength before moving onward._

"_Yes, Sir, they are. That trick your daughter did came in quite handy, did you teach her that? To cloak her magic?" Anders tried desperately to lighten the older man's mood, offering a nervous smile as he took in the man's features. He had to be approaching fifty, his graying hair tied back in a ponytail. He could see where Sae got her dark green eyes from. Anders thought that Malcolm did not look like a cruel man, but if he had learned anything, looks were deceiving. He would have to take his chances and trust this man, he had no other choice._

"_No, not I. My daughter is quite gifted and has proven an excellent healer and herbalist for such a tender age. Although I do not like it, she does pick up a few talents outside the family. Let me make something perfectly clear young man. Saelihnne is the light of my life. I tend to indulge her and how she remains unspoiled is truly a wonder of the Maker. If anyone were to ever hurt her, her tender sixteen year old emotions, I don't know what I would do. But, she is not a child. All I ask is that you do not place her in danger or break her heart. If you even think to practice any iota of blood magic, I will tear you apart and make you wish for a templar death. I will allow you to stay and heal and I will teach you skills that will enable you to make a living for yourself. You will never live in splendor, but I can teach you how to live in freedom." Malcolm gripped Anders' wrist and stared hard into his brown eyes, watching as the young man flinched, eyes growing wide. Once Anders' nodded faster than the bobbin on Leandra's spinning wheel, Malcolm chuckled warmly._

"_Uh, yes, yes Sir! I would never dream to hurt her. She saved my life as did you. I have no idea what I am doing, tell you the truth. It's not like they teach us how to cook or even care for ourselves in the Circle. I am grateful to you Sir, anything you could tell me I would be happy to learn. I could share with you what I have learned, which is not all that much, but I was told I was especially good with healing and primal spells. I would never consort to blood magic. Never! Oh and I love animals! I am talking far too much, aren't I?" Anders' was on the verge of hysteria as he felt the iron grip of Malcolm's fingers curl around his wrist and was forced to look into his demanding gaze. He swallowed down a piteous whimper and bit his lower lip in fear, getting a very real sense of this man's power. He really could not blame the man for being so protective, Malcolm was an apostate just like him. Unlike Malcolm, Anders' had no clue how to survive in a world that was not a stone tower with a strict schedule and an aura of fear that seemed to dictate the lives of all who dwelled within._

"_You are turning into a prune, young man. Go dry yourself and find something to wear from the wardrobe. It's not much but I think there's a pair of trousers that will fit and a robe. I'll want to see about your ribs. I do not sense the mark of insanity blood magic inevitably leaves upon you, but then again, I have been fooled before. I suppose we must trust each other." Malcolm reached for a clean towel and handed it to Anders, rising from his stool and crossing to his worktable to gather fresh poultices and offer the poor young mage a measure of privacy._

"_Um, yes Sir. That I am. A very, very grateful prune at that." Anders hurriedly drew the soft warm towel over his chest and limbs, having to sigh as this was the cleanest he had felt in an age. His mana seemed to be replenishing but he thought to trust this man with his recovery more than himself. Apostates they all may be, but he was not stupid enough to think himself their superior when they held more practical knowledge than he did. Malcolm's healing was more powerful than his own and if he was going to learn it was by watching and not acting like an arse. Hell, they barely used lyrium. The trousers were loose but comfortable and Anders' left the robe open at the front so Malcolm could have easy access to his bandaged ribs._

"_So Anders, how many times did it take for you to escape this far? I know it took me a fair number of attempts before I got lucky and found some help from a most unlikely source." Malcolm smirked as he strode over to where Anders now reclined on the bed, his skilled fingers removing the damp bandages and pressing the linen wrapped poultice to his ribs._

"_Wow. You escaped the Circle too? I guess you must have if you live free." Anders shook his damp hair before placing his hand over the poultice of herbs to hold it flush against his ribs. "Believe it or not, I think I have actually lost count of the actual number of escapes. This one might mark attempt eleven or twelve. Once those bastards smite you, everything goes fuzzy. This time though I was clever. Used a lifeward spell before taking a leap into Lake Calanhad. I am damn lucky I learned to swim before being carted off to Kinloch Hold." Anders grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders._

"_Not all templars are bastards, some retain enough of their own conscience to know the difference between Chantry dogma and what is honorable and right. It is a shame for the templars too, lad. Imagine a life of horrible addiction, losing all sense of self and dignity. Then you grow too old to fight and are cast off like a worn tattered cloak that has no hope to be mended. Don't get me wrong, most templars are right bastards with no concern for anything then a steady stipend, but it is foolish to paint all people with the same brushstroke. Trust me, I know or I would not be here now with a wonderful family." Malcolm spoke warmly, recalling his own final escape from Kirkwall's gallows with his frightened fiance in tow._

"_Can I ask you a question, Sir? About Saelihnne's magic? The last thing I recall was that she was crying while casting the healing spell. I have never seen that before." Anders quirked a pale blond eyebrow as he gazed at Malcolm, curious about how an apostate could have a merciful stance on templars when he knew all too well himself what atrocities they were capable of._

"_Ah, yes. My daughter the empath. Surely you have heard of such if you have studied creation magic. Empaths are rare, most can't handle their unique gift and either turn destructive, or sadly seek a permanent residence in the Fade, if you glean my meaning. I have raised my daughter to embrace her gifts and trust her heart. She takes the pain of others into herself so they might heal. That is why you saw her crying. This is private knowledge mind you. I do not think I need to tell you what would happen to her should the Chantry find out. She would be locked away for life and used for her gift mercilessly." Malcolm's gaze tightened sternly as a sense of protectiveness came over him. He worried constantly of both his daughters being discovered, but Saelihnne, so much worse could befall her. If Tevinter magisters ever got their hands on her..._

"_An empath. I have read a little, Sir. I must say I was quite intrigued with what I did have the opportunity to learn. I would never turn on a fellow mage, ever! I think we should all live free to use our talents the Maker gave us. If not for your daughter's gifts, I would be dead in a ditch." Anders reached his free hand to stroke to soft ginger fur of the tabby kitten that resumed it's place at his side. He recalled the wet sheen of tears upon Saelihnne's cheeks before he blacked out, the feel of her magic, so cool, so tender. It was comforting, her magic, it made you want to be around it all the time. But the cost of it, he could not imagine. If that empathy was forced to be something sinister, something destructive, that could be a powerful weapon in the wrong hands. Anders suppressed a shudder, pulling the kitten closer to his side._

"_Oh Daddy, if we are going to give away family secrets, should I tell Anders your trick to charm the bees from their honey?" Saelihnne giggled softly, casting a sassy wink to her father as she swung open the door and breezed into the workshop. She set about the room, replacing burned down candles with fresh ones and lighting them with a gentle whisper of magic. Damp dirty towels were gathered up and tossed into a basket to be laundered tomorrow morning. Her light steps carried her to Anders' bedside were she sat near her father, her gaze drifting to the open expanse of Anders' chest._

"_It's a useful trick my girl, as you well know. A shame Bethany never quite got the hang of it. I think your secret is quite safe with this young man. I will leave you to re-bandage his ribs. Not too late, dove, you need rest too." Malcolm smiled affectionately at his daughter, noting the rosy glow upon her cheeks. Ah, let the youth have their moments of joy. The tender gaze the young man Anders held for his firstborn brought a nostalgic smile to his lips. "Goodnight Anders. Rest well, son."_

"_Night Daddy, I love you." Saelihnne kissed Malcom's cheek before reaching for the roll of thin linen, which would serve to support Anders' healing ribcage._

"_Good night and thank you Sir. It has been an honor to, well, be able to speak with you frankly. And a great relief." Anders glanced up to smile at Malcolm's retreating form before turning that smile to the angel by his bedside. He felt his pulse quicken a bit as it was returned, radiantly, the little dimple at her cheek creasing, and he ached to place his lips right **there**. It would not be right though. This was no desperate tart from the Circle just looking for a bit of relief. No, this was a gifted and lovely young girl, deserving all the respect he had to give._

"_How are you feeling, Anders? I would guess a right bit better now that you are clean. Your side must ache though. Do you want me to numb it?" Saelihnne's dulcet voice carried to Anders' ears but he was hardly listening. He was far too entranced with the way her graceful fingers so carefully unwound the linen gauze and how those soft fingertips would feel again against his skin, pained or not. Blinking suddenly, he coughed and felt a heat rise to his face._

"_A bit sore still. It's not so bad to have to numb it. Please. I do not want to cause you any pain, now that I know." Anders eased the robe from his shoulders, sitting up in the feather bed to assist Saelihnne as she reached to wind the linen bandages about his ribs. The kitten at his side mewled in protest as Anders shifted his body, switching his short little tail in agitation before settling back down into a comfy spot._

"_Do I scare you? I hope not. It's really not very scary at all. I draw in the pain to ease suffering. My father once compared it to some people having black hair and others being fair. We all have different things to bring to the world. Mine just stings a bit more is all. Now that I know how to, well, shield it. I am making no sense am I?" Saelihnne stammered helplessly as her deft fingers swept over Anders' torso and back, easing the linen into a snug wrap to rest firmly against his ribs. Softly she drew in a breath, smelling the lingering herbs on his warm skin. The fingertips of her right hand trailed over the sorest spots to leave a bit of rejuvenating magic to glow a pale blue against his bare skin._

"_Scare me? No. I find myself, quite drawn to your touch. You would give the First Enchanter a run for his sovereigns to be sure. I just do not want you to, hurt." Anders gazed at her flawless face, at least to his mind it was flawless. Her pale brows knit together as her full, soft as silk lips parted to murmur the spell. There was just a hint of tears glistening in her green eyes, threatening to spill in salty trails over flushed cheeks. Anders felt his tremendous romantic heart swell as he reached for her cheek, his thumb easing away a salty tear. He could feel her hands tremble as she knotted off the bandage._

"_You flatter me. I have had no training, really. I am no more than a midwife. An apprentice at that." Saelihnne's voice broke off to feel that single digit trail over the hot and flushed skin of her right cheek. A soft sigh left her lips as she braved a glance into incredibly warm brown eyes. Brown eyes that accepted her and welcomed her for what she was. The gold flecks danced there, playful even as the intensity promised more than her sixteen years had prepared her for. She swallowed, hard._

"_Sae...I do not flatter. You, are beautiful. May the Maker never change you." Anders trembled physically, his limbs actually shaking as he drew her into the circle of his arms to hold her close against his rapidly beating heart. "Your gift is selfless be it midwife or merchant." Anders gently cupped Saelihnne's chin with his right hand, turning her to meet his infatuated gaze. Her soft gasps, the yearning in her green eyes was all the fuel he needed to gently press his lips against her own virgin lips. Anders had to close his eyes to relish this. So sweet, so pure. No agenda or any mindless writhing in a dark corner. He could feel warmth spill over as her lips pressed to his more boldly, her teeth worrying his lower lip. Anders groaned deeply. He could not. He could not take her now as much as he wanted to. She was sixteen and he was in her father's debt. Oh but it physically hurt to break away from the warmth of her soft lips. And look, she held her eyes closed still, in rapture. Fate was indeed cruel. The dark blond of her eyelashes so gentle against her cheeks he would memorize for all time. That sweet expression on her beautifully upturned face. Strong fingers raked through the wealth of her honey tresses, his full lips gentle as they kissed over her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin and her neck._

"_But you will leave. It is inevitable. The templars..." Saelihhne did not dare open her eyes as she grasped perfection in his kiss, his tender touches of lips and fingers._

"_Only to protect you. My little light. Do not worry. Let me hold you now." Anders would not lie, he knew he could not stay as much as he might like to. It was far too much of a risk, but for now he could bask in her love and care. It might even be enough. Slim muscled arms wrapped about the fragile trembling figure of Saelihnne, drawing her close as he murmured no lies, but professions from his heart, everything he dreamed of, to have and hold close._

"_Don't ever leave." Saelihnne whispered, finally succumbing, so lightheaded, dizzy, she had to close her eyes, even as her lips murmured._

_((A/N- A bit short, I know. I have been physically sweating over this story, trying to fish out every detail of Anders. I actually am doing another play through of Awakening to get a full sense of him before I write him. On to the important stuff. My eternal thanks to the following for their honest reviews, emails, subs and alerts. K9, gailywoozle, CarysoftrubSparrow, ladymonkey, Kimber75, thebrute7, pyrokitty714, wildx22, ouanne, buffanatic13, Morrolan, and especially XShadowWolfX from BSN. It is you that inspires me. Reviews are love.))  
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